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I'm not very good at praying.  Most of the time I pretty much end up saying the same things.  Recently I've noticed one particular phrase that I use in vain repetition.  It goes something like this:  "Give me more love for You" or "Help me love You more".

I think that this prayer initially came from a good place.  God is most worthy of our love and adoration.  He sent forth His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  He is glorified when we love Him and when our love for Him grows.

Like a good Calvinist I recognized that only God Himself could help me love Him more, so that's what I asked for.  Little did I know that in this sinful heart of mine, my prayer for 'more love' would become a legalistic and Christ-dishonoring plea.

Let me explain.

Jesus makes it clear:  "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15).  The formula has been set forth.  If you love Jesus, you will keep His commandments.

What I've found is that I've been asking God to help me love Him IN ORDER to 'keep' His commandments.  I have been viewing 'love for God' as a means to an end rather than an end in itself.  The only reason I've been wanting to love God is because I've been wanting to 'bear fruit' or do 'good works' or have strong emotions toward God.

Then I went even deeper and explored why I wanted these 'good works' and/or feelings so much that they had become the end rather than Christ Himself,  God showed me that I desired these things because deep down, I viewed them as my own functional righteousness.  Of course I would never deny the perfect imputed righteousness of my Savior, but behind my vain prayers was a subtle yet real desire to establish my own righteousness.  Only when I was 'being obedient' or 'walking in line with Scripture' or feeling certain positive thoughts about God would I view myself as righteous.  Only when I was in this state of obedience or spiritual nirvana, would I feel at peace within my soul.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE GOSPEL!  The gospel says Jesus and Jesus alone is my righteousness.  He alone is my salvation.  He alone is my peace.

By God's grace I'm understanding more of what Paul was feeling when he wrote Phil 3:7-11.
⁷But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— ¹⁰ that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

My righteousness is not in my wanting to go to seminary and be a pastor.  It's not in my leading a small group.  It's not in the 'x' amount of times I've read the Bible or how many hours I've spent in prayer.  My righteousness is not in how many times I chose not to look at porn.  It's not in the amount of gospel seeds I've planted.  These things are rubbish compared to the righteousness that I have in Jesus Christ.  The LORD is my righteousness.  The LORD is my salvation.

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Evidence of Grace:  Jesus, righteousness in Christ alone, Garnet, C&O Trattoria, Darrell's generosity.  CIA

They pretty much changed the melody of a hymn and added a chorus.  I really like this song.






Man of Sorrows, what a name
For the Son of God who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim, hallelujah
Bearing shame and scoffing rude
In my place condemned He stood
Sealed my pardon with His blood
Hallelujah, hallelujah

Savior, You showed Your love
Defeated our sin, poured out Your blood
So we praise You, Lamb that was slain
We offer our lives to proclaim
What a Savior

Guilty, vile, and helpless we
Spotless Lamb of God was He
Full atonement, can it be? Hallelujah
Lifted up was He to die
“It is finished” was His cry
Now in heav’n exalted high
Hallelujah, hallelujah

When He comes, our glorious King
All His ransomed home to bring
Then anew this song we’ll sing
Hallelujah, hallelujah

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

you can find it here:  http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=M4230-07-51

 
Ephesians 5:28-30
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

Growing up I was always taught that God loved me.  I heard it in my Christian home.  I heard it in my Christian church.  I even heard it in my Christian school.  "God loves you, Andrew."  And it wasn't just me that He loved, but the whole world.  In fact He so loved the world that He gave up His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Hearing this message so often growing up, I began to develop a theology where I was at the center and God existed for me.  After all, He loved me enough to sacrificially give up His Son for my salvation.  I had a small view of God and a crazy inflated view of myself.  Consequently, I wasn't that thankful for my salvation.  God being love meant He was SUPPOSED to love and save me.

Then I went to college where I was reintroduced to the Calvinism - the same Calvinism that I had rejected in high school.  Calvinism taught that God existed first and foremost for His OWN glory and not mine.  Thanks to my cousin Bryan and John Piper, I learned that Christ died primarily for the glory of God (Himself) and not primarily for me.  God was on a mission to make Himself known and therefore receive all the glory.  God first and foremost loved Himself.  However, to me this meant that He only loved me with a secondary love which was still pretty good, but just not the best.  At that point, however, I was just glad that He loved me at all.

This week I read Ephesians 5.  I read about how the church is Christ's body.  I read about how Christ loves the church which is His body.  I read that just as husband and wife become one so the church has been made one with Christ.  I read verse 29 which says, "No one ever hated his flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it."  Then I realized...Christ loves me as His own body.  By His grace, I realized that my good, satisfaction, and welfare have been intertwined with Christ's.  As a member of the body of Christ, I have been given access into the the ultimate and perfect love that the Loveable One has for His loveable Self.  I am not loved with a secondary love, but with the same love that Christ has for Himself.  The church has, by the blood of her Husband, entered into the unsurpassed love of the Trinity.

In our attempt to highlight the holiness and sovereignty of God and in our attempt to emphasize His big-ness, have we resorted to an unbiblical view of Christ's love?  Does saying that Christ loves us less than He loves Himself really make Him greater?  Christ does indeed love Himself the most, but we are His body and He loves us the same as He loves Himself.  He loves us.  He REALLY loves us!

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Evidence of Grace:  Jesus, Saturday with Garnet Kim, City of God (movie), Edwin. CIA

Hello.  I'm not sure if there is a single person who will read this post, but I shall post regardless.  Since my last post, I became convinced that blogging was a waste of my time (not in general, but for me personally).  However, I have recently been convinced otherwise.
So here goes:

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When I was about 5 or 6 years old my aunt, who I call EmaSue, adopted a baby boy.  His name is Joseph.





And just as a side note, I think he looks a lot like Alfred Wong.



Anyways, when EmaSue brought Joseph over to my house for the very first time I said something about Joseph that I will regret for the rest of my life.

I distinctly remember standing on the stairs, watching Joseph being carried into the house, and saying out loud, "He's not really my cousin."  I meant it too.

I thought what EmaSue had brought home as a son was second best to begetting a natural born son.

When my aunt heard me say it, she didn't say anything to me, but she did tell my mom.  Although my mom reprimanded me and told me not to say such things because they were very hurtful to EmaSue, I didn't understand my foolishness.  I just thought I was supposed to be nicer to my aunt who I believed had brought home something that was 'second best'.

As it turns out, adoption ISN'T second best. 

Turns out that God had predestined for adoption to be the means by which His enemies - people like myself - would be included into His family.
Ephesians 1:6-7 "In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,  to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved."

Turns out that God had never planned for His children to be born out of natural descent.
John 1:12-13 "But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God."

Turns out that God had planned for adoption to be the highest privilege that the gospel offers.
1John 3:1 "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are."

Turns out that God wanted to adopt us so much that He gave up His one and only Son, so that we might enter into His family.
Galatians 4:4-5 "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law,  to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons."

Because of adoption, I can truly say that Joseph is my cousin.  Better yet, because of adoption I can say he's my brother.



Adoption is great.
Romans 8:16-17 "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ"

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Evidence of Grace:  Jesus, adoption, a dad serving the Lord in Haiti, Alex Oquindo's job, a cute girlfriend who makes up words like winaka and munchaka, that I get to see her tomorrow, sushi, bruce and tiffany, blogging, DA Carson's commentary on John. CIA